I hate flies

I've mentioned this before.

But it's still true: I really hate flies.

Recently a fly got trapped in the bathroom and I was trying to kill it before I went to bed. I spent at least twenty minutes whacking the mirror, the shower door, the walls, and plain old air with a rolled-up magazine.

Finally I managed to knock the fly down, and fortunately, it landed in the sink where I could wash it away. I watched it trying to swim, waving its nasty little fly legs in vain as it swirled down the drain.

Ha! I thought. So long, sucker!

I went to bed in peace, knowing that fly was in its watery grave.

The next morning it was back! I have no idea how, but it had crawled up out of the drain sometime during the night and was sitting in the bowl of the sink, quite still. I couldn't believe it!

I ran the faucet again, and once again it tried to swim as it slowly sank down the drain. Ha! I thought again.

The fly had been a valiant opponent, but it was no match for an intelligent mammal like me.

Or at last that's what I tell myself.

(above image from www.zazzle.com)

Bug-Bombing the Van

I guess it was inevitable.

With five kids (and one mom) eating all kinds of meals and snacks inside a mini-van, and some of them not being very conscientious about cleaning up after themselves, well... it was bound to happen.

INFESTATION.

Or, to be fair, a suspected infestation, based on the sighting of one cockroach by a squealing teenage girl. Who took photographic evidence with her phone. Ewww.

(image from drugstore.com)

Drastic measures were required. I bought a bug bomb.

Then I took everything out of the van. Especially the trash. There was lots and lots of trash.

In fact, if there are not cockroaches living in my van, it's not for lack of edible bait. We practically have a sign up in there declaring: "Free Food! Come All Vermin! Come Eat And Be Satisfied!"

On the upside, I did not encounter any bugs while cleaning out the van. Although each time I stuck my hand in the deep recesses under the seats and pulled out handfuls of sticky plastic toys, empty chip bags, and mostly-empty candy wrappers, I shuddered inside.

Every time something strange brushed my hand, I jumped. (It was always just more trash.)

I closed up the car and set off the bomb. I'll air it all out tomorrow.

Will there be insect casualties? We shall see....

Girl Who Can Catch Fly With Fingers

Looking over some of my recent posts, I seem to have a bug theme going on right now.

I guess that's what happens when you live on a tropical island...

Well, here's my latest bug story:

We've had a lot of trouble with flies recently, as you might have noticed from my post "Flies: Nature's Cockiest Insect." They've been darting in from the backyard swamp (more on that later!) and flying around the house in a most irritating fashion.

The twins found it wildly entertaining to watch Mommy run around like a crazy person with a rolled-up magazine swatting futilely at the air. After I explained I was trying to kill a fly, they began pointing the fly out whenever they could find it.

(They think they're on an episode of "Dora the Explorer" half the time. "There it is, Mommy!" "Over there! Get it!" I half expect that little blue arrow to come over and beep-click on the fly.)

Anyways, the twins have grasped the idea that flies are bad and we want them DEAD. It warms the heart, doesn't it?

But I was amazed when Baby Girl came to me the other day and informed me she'd killed a fly herself. She held up her tiny hand, thumb and forefinger clasped as if she'd trapped something.

I chuckled to myself, thinking it was cute that she thought she'd caught a fly between her little fingers. What did she think this was, the original "Karate Kid" movie?


(image from examiner.com)

(Remember when Pat Morita told Ralph Macchio, "Man who can catch fly with chopsticks can accomplish anything?" Don't you remember? Anyone?! Oh, come ON! I'm not THAT old!)

Then I took a closer look, and she actually did have a fly trapped between her fingers! She had caught fly with chopsticks!

Sort of.

I guess Baby Girl can accomplish anything!

(above "Bug's Life" image from dan-dare.com)

Chaos in the Car

 

The car can be a chaotic place when there are five kids in the family.

This week after evening fellowship at the chapel we all piled in with the usual confusion.

Boo was worried about protecting the sculpture of Noah’s Ark she’d made out of play-dough. GG had a friend she’d brought to church with us and they were conspiring busily. ET was telling me about the activities they’d done in youth group. The twins were just yelling.

ET: So we had socks filled with flour and--
Boo: Ack! Mommy! GG took my craft!
Baby Boy: Bug!
Me: GG! Give your sister back her craft! Boo, put it back in the bag!
GG: I don’t even HAVE her stupid craft!
Baby Boy: Bug!
Boo: She DID have it.
ET: Then we were supposed to run around with the socks--
Baby Boy: Bug!
GG: Like I would even WANT her stupid craft.
Boo: You SQUISHED it! Mommy! She SQUISHED it!
Baby Boy: Bug!
GG: I did NOT squish it!
ET: They wouldn’t let us actually HIT each other with the socks after LAST time--
Baby Boy: Bug!
Me: Boo, it looks fine. It’s not squished.
Boo: It IS! Right here on the edge!
Baby Boy: Bug!
Me: It’s fine. Okay, doors are closed; is everyone buckled in?
ET: Ack! There’s a cockroach crawling on the ceiling!
Baby Boy: Bug!

I looked up. There was, indeed, a roach directly above my head. (Just like Baby Boy had been trying to tell us!)

There followed much shrieking and ducking. I took off my shoe and pounded the ceiling with it. ET screamed, “Where is it? Where is it? Did it fall on me?” Boo hovered protectively over her sculpture. The twins laughed hysterically. GG and her friend, amazingly, remained oblivious to the whole thing.

When the bug had been dispatched to its final rest, and all the noise had finally died down, we were able to drive away.

All was quiet…until the next crisis….

above image from hasbro.com/playdoh

Flies-- Nature's Cockiest Insect

I hate flies.

I really do.

I mean besides the obvious reasons to hate flies --according to wikipedia they are capable of carrying 100 pathogens!--I just hate their ATTITUDE.

I hate how they dart inside your house in the few seconds that the door is open, fly all around your kitchen, then alight and sit with apparent casual ease rubbing their nasty little feet together.

Until the moment you grab a flyswatter or rolled-up magazine, when they zip off the second before you smack them dead.

It’s like they’re taunting you, saying, “Look at me! I’m so relaxed and unsuspecting here. Try and hit me. Just try! I dare you! Whoops! Too late, sucker!”

Rotten little things.

(above image from wikipedia)

There Are Centipedes in Paradise

I found a curled-up centipede in the dryer.

Fortunately, it was dead. They are hard to kill; you have to really beat them to death, or preferably cut them in half. Ewww.

They have the nastiest centipedes here in Hawaii; it‘s a form of the Vietnamese centipede. They are disgusting to look at, and also poisonous.

Fortunately, their bite won’t actually KILL you. It will just make you swell up and hurt a lot. So that’s some consolation, right?

Here’s a photo from another Hawaiian blogger who has an interesting centipede story as well.



That is seriously gross-looking, right?

According to Wikipedia these things are actually sold elsewhere as “terrarium animals,” but I can’t IMAGINE a less appealing pet.

So far I haven’t had any of these nasty things inside the house, although we’ve killed several outside the door.

And my daughter’s friend had one in her BED. Ewww!

But anyways, Dryer Centipede is the closest we’ve had to one inside, so I think we’re pretty lucky.

Unfortunately, I mentioned the dead centipede in the dryer to the kids and they freaked out, asking if I re-washed the clothes afterwards, and if not, exactly WHICH load of clothes was it, et cetera. (Obviously THAT information was not disclosed.)

So now they are all concerned that there are “centipede germs” on their clothes.

But WHICH clothes? I’ll never tell…