Monday, November 26, 2012

Elf on the Shelf

The Elf on the Shelf (Light Skinned - Girl)
So all my friends with small children are doing this "elf on the shelf" thing this Christmas.

In case you aren't familiar with the Elf, here's the description from Barnes and Noble, one of the many retailers selling it:

"Every year, Santa sends a scout elf to each home to report on whether its little boys and girls have been naughty or nice. With this tradition-in-a-box activity kit, families will be able to search each day for Santa's secret helper. A game that builds anticipation for Christmas."

So the idea is, you buy the book (elf included!) and explain to the kids that the elf is watching them and reporting on their behavior to Santa. Then you place the elf somewhere in the house so that it can observe the children. During the night you move it to another location, so they can see that the Elf has been off to the North Pole for debriefing while they were asleep.

Does no one but me find this whole idea just a little creepy?

I mean, it's bad enough that Santa "sees you when you're sleeping" and "knows when you're awake," but now he's placed a MOLE in your HOUSE?!

Now I do get the fun of the kids finding where the elf is hiding every day and all that.

And to be completely honest, the creepy-stalker-ish-ness of the lyrics to "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" never dawned on me at all as a child. I was as excited about Santa coming as the next kid.

But, from an adult perspective, that Elf on the Shelf just FREAKS ME OUT. I want to throw a towel over him when I go to my friends' houses.

Just in case he really IS watching......

Saturday, November 17, 2012

The Pet Wars Are Back On!

At the fall festival last week Boo won a pair of goldfish in a plastic bag.

Don’t get me started on the dubious wisdom of giving elementary school kids LIVING ANIMALS as fair prizes without their parents’ permission. Suffice it to say, I dislike the idea on many levels.

Anyways, I figured, like all fair goldfish, these poor creatures were not long for this world.

Need I remind everyone what happened to Darla’s fish in “Finding Nemo?”

(image from

But, much to my surprise, a week later Dorothy and Stanky (as Boo named the fish) are still alive.

However, they may no last much longer. They have been discovered by The Cat.

This morning I came downstairs and found our kitty up on the kitchen counter looking into the fishbowl. The fish were swimming around like crazy and there was water all over the place.

Obviously Kitty had been unsuccessfully fishing. He ran away as soon as he saw me, but first he gave the fish and “I’ll be back” look.

I’m afraid Dorothy and Stanky may not enjoy the land of the living too much longer.

The Pet Wars have resumed!

(For the history of the pet wars click here. Also HERE.)

Monday, November 12, 2012

Snowballs in Hawaii?

At the elementary school Fall Festival this weekend, Boo's class sponsored a snowball fight.


But since we live on the island of O'ahu, where the temperature stays unvaryingly around 75 degrees, the snowballs were made of flour.

Boo's fourth-grade class made over 2000 snowballs--which consisted of 1/4 cup of flour wrapped in a kleenex and secured with tape.

Boo and I personally made 125 of them.

Oh, it was a grand mess!

But the kids all had a great time, in any case. Selling the snowballs at four for a dollar, our booth ran out in less than two hours.

I helped with the sales, but fortunately was allowed to disappear at cleanup time....

Friday, November 9, 2012

Three TV/Movie dudes I want to come to my house for coffee

#1. John Goodman.

John Goodman
(image from

I LOVE him! I loved him in "Roseanne" a zillion years ago, and I just saw him in the movie Argo. He was excellent!

And my favorite character he played:

(image from

Don't you just want to hug that guy?

Also he would make me look quite svelte if he stood beside me...

#2. Spencer Shay from "iCarly"

File:Spencer shay ha ha.jpg
(image from

I love this guy too. And it's the character I love here, not the actor. I think Jerry Trainor, the real person, is a Serious Actor. Which I have great respect for. However...

Unfortunately a Serious Actor would not be as fun over coffee as the Spencer character, who makes giant sculptures of pants and does the best pratfalls this side of John Ritter. Also he does this baby puppet bit that's hysterical.

(image from

Well, I guess you have to see that one on TV to get the full impact.

#3. Griffin, That Psychic Alien Dude from Men in Black 3.

(image from

Aw! Isn't he sweet?

You have to see this movie to know why I love this guy. Once you have, you'll want Griffin at your house too.

By the way, to everyone that thinks this is a weird collection of dudes....You're right!

Were you expecting photos of Fabio here?

Sorry, wrong blog for that. I like weird dudes. Ask my husband....

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Now that the election is over...

Let's talk about something else.

Something important, you ask? Newsworthy? Something that makes a difference in this world?

Nah. Wrong blog for THAT.

I only write about random useless FUNNY things.

I have a short list of questions to get you all talking amongst yourselves:

Two general, maybe philosophical, questions:

1. A burning question of housekeeping: How can dust cling to a vertical surface?

2. Jesus has a facebook page. So does God. Who does the status updates for these things?

And one personal question.....

3. Who took the onions off their Whopper and hid them in the back of my van? Because it really smells in there now.

Thank you for reading this post-election post.

Friday, November 2, 2012

My house vs. Pinterest house

On pinterest they have lots of ideas to make your home beautiful and organized.

One idea is to have places for each person to put their things in each room. I do this, but because we have a lot of people, it doesn't quite look as nice as it should.

For example, here's pinterest's organized entryway.

Pinned Image

I actually do this. I have labeled places for each child's school bag, and a shelf, et cetera.

Except in my house, it looks like this:

Not bad. But not Martha Stewart quality, by any means.

Now this idea, for the laundry room, using an individual basket for each person's clean clothes, which they will then (theoretically) put away in their rooms.
Pinned Image

Again, this is actually an idea I use at my house. Only my version doesn't look so great.

Yeah. Not so much with the putting away....

Okay, one more. Pinterest organized bathroom:

Pinned Image

Now my kids' bathroom:

Oh well. At least we can find stuff, right?


images from