Crib Tents, I Love Thee

About a month ago the twins learned how to get out of their cribs. It was a sad sad day.


For me, I mean. They were pretty happy about it actually. As you can imagine...

So since we’ve been traveling they’ve been learning to get out of all types of restraints: knocking over safety gates, jumping in and out of their port-a-cribs, actually climbing OVER all barriers placed in their paths. Especially wild is Baby Boy; he is the instigator of all their Houdini acts, but Baby Girl follows right behind.

But the getting out of their cribs thing has REALLY been wearing on me.

This means that every naptime and bedtime, I have been required to sit in the bedroom with them for at least an hour, relentlessly returning them to their beds over and over and OVER. While they cheerily call out, “Night Night Mommy!” And giggle maniacally. And get out of bed again.

Gets old pretty fast….

So last week when we returned to my in-laws’ house and I knew we’d be out of the port-a-cribs and back into regular baby beds like we have at home (my mother-in-law has two cribs), I decided to take action.

I’d heard of crib tents to go over the top of baby beds and keep them trapped inside, so I went in search of them online to see where they could be found.

There was a mail-order place, which I considered, but I’ve already discovered that having things shipped to Hawaii can be difficult.

(It seems SOME people don’t REALIZE that Hawaii is IN the United States! You know those 50 stars on the flag? Remember Alaska and Hawaii floating around all misplaced at the bottom of your grade-school USA map? RIGHT! PART of the United States people!)

So I thought it would be easier to just find a store in Alabama that carried crib tents.

First I looked at Babies-R-Us; oddly enough, they didn’t carry them. (Their website gave me about a billion results for CRIB and none for TENT.)

I finally found what I was looking for at the Bed Bath and Beyond website.

I looked the thing over to see how it would work. I’d already realized that just a tent over the top of the bed wouldn’t stop Baby Boy. But I could see from the picture that the tent was a full-on CAGE!

It went inside the crib rails, under the mattress and across the top, all in breathable mesh. I was sold!

My sister-n-law and I went to the Bed Bath and Beyond store in search of crib tents, but I was told they didn’t sell them there.

Bummer.

Although on a positive note, we did find some LOVELY gadgets for our homes we couldn’t live without…

The salesgirl said all the baby stuff was sold by mail (which I‘ve already explained was out) or at the special baby store down by the mall…

…called--get this!--Buy Buy Baby.

Isn’t that name kind of weird?

I mean, when I first heard it I though it was “Bye Bye Baby,” as in “Farewell and Sayonara Small One,” which is freakishly ominous, but actually “Purchase and Procure Infant” isn’t much better!

I’m thinking, is there some sort of black-market thing going on in the back room here? Should I be worried?

But of course the Buy Buy just refers to all the STUFF you’ll need to purchase, procure AND obtain in order to give your little bundle of joy the proper welcome into this world he/she deserves.

Such as baby wipes warmers.

And shopping cart seat covers.

And sleep positioners.

And who knows WHAT else that didn’t even EXIST when I had my first child, a mere 13 1/2 years ago, but are now ESSENTIAL to a baby’s survival. Not to mention all the stuff MY mom never had, although I did somehow manage to live to adulthood.

But I digress…

So, of course, we made the trek down to the Buy Buy Baby store.

My sister-in-law was immediately charmed by all the cute baby stuff and began longing for the day she would share these things with her grandchildren.

Might I add this is the sister-in-law with the son who just got married three weeks ago, is twenty-two-years old, still in school, and NOT expecting. No pressure for the happy couple there, right?

But anyways, I was there on a singular mission: to get the crib tents.

And I found them. And they were $69.99. EACH!

Ouch.

But do I want to spend the next year forcing the twins back into their cribs for two hours every day? How much of the (obviously sarcastic) “Night Night Mommy!” can I listen too before I snap?

I shelled out the cash.

Then I came home and put the crib tents together and prepared for the first test: NAPTIME.

The twins were quite cheerful when I first put them in their new tents. They thought it was some fun new game and jumped up and down as I zipped them in. YAY! Crib tents are FUN!

Then they slowly began to realize they couldn’t get out. BOO! Crib tents are NO fun!

Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

But they fell asleep much more quickly without the distractions of taunting Mommy. Because I didn’t have to stay in there and watch them, now that I was confident they could NEVER ESCAPE!

Forgive me another cruel chuckle.

Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

So bedtime and naptime have been a whole lot more peasant around here.

And, as my oldest daughter put it, “Babies sleep good in their cages.”

And I say again…

Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!