Remember to stay humble

 

I did a favor for a friend the other day. It wasn’t a big deal, but she thanked me profusely and I left her house feeling pretty darn good about myself.

I got in my van and flipped on my iPod, blasting some nice-girl Christian music and heading out to get the twins from preschool. I’m doing pretty well today, I thought.

Then I backed into a ditch.

I’m not even kidding. I wish I was. I backed my minivan into a DITCH and got it STUCK.

I tried to get the van out of the ditch and my tires spun uselessly on loose gravel. My dashboard gave me a helpful “low-traction” warning light to let me know this was happening, as if the combination of vroom/SCREECH, vroom/SCREECH along with the continual NOT moving forward didn’t give me a clue that there was a traction PROBLEM.

(image from http://jeffwylerclarksvilletoyota.com)

I got out of the van and looked. Yep. Stuck in a ditch all right.

I tried going backwards. Which was good until I ran into something short behind me. So I tried going forwards again and got stuck in the same spot.

I tried not to panic. I tried again. I got out again.

A guy, attracted by my lovely vroom/SCREECH, vroom/SCREECH sound, walked up.

“I seem to be stuck,” I said inanely.

He walked around my van and agreed with me. “You’re probably going to have to call someone to pull you out,” he said. “You got TripleA?”

I was getting really upset. “I don’t have time for that!” I said. “I have to pick up from the preschool in ten minutes!” I think I actually stamped my foot.

The guy raised his eyebrows at me in an “Okay, Crazy Lady,” way and I realized I was acting like a nut, and alienating my only visible source of help with my nuttiness.

Fortunately at that point two other guys walked up and surveyed the scene. This kept Guy #1 from abandoning me on my own Crazy-Lady-Island, which I likely deserved.

Guys #2 and #3 discussed putting something under the back wheel and/or pushing the back of the van. Guy #1 looked skeptically at all of us.

The pushing plan was decided upon. I asked Guy #1 to drive while I pushed, because I felt bad that he’d gotten roped into this, and also because he weighed less than me. Plus I was terrified of accidentally backing over all three guys, since I‘d already proven myself to be a complete moron as a driver. I’m just being honest here.

Guy #1 got in the van and put it in low gear. He gunned the motor to make the vroom/SCREECH, vroom/SCREECH really crescendo while the three of us shoved on the tailgate as hard as we could.

The good news is, the van moved. The bad news is, I fell facefirst into the ditch.

But the van was out! I got up, saying cheerily, “I’m okay! I’m okay!” and limped away. I thanked everyone profusely and drove off. I hope they all were feeling good about helping me.

Probably they were thinking, “Wow. What a nut.”

Amazingly, I was only about ten minutes late to the preschool.

But I arrived humble.