Thursday, June 13, 2013

The Story of the Beautiful Washing Machine

As I may have mentioned in my last post, we arrived in Birmingham in the late evening with a plastic bag of peed-on clothes, along with the rest of our luggage.

So even though I was super-tired when we got to my in-laws' house, it was necessary for me to wash some clothes. My mother-in-law said we could use her new washing machine.

As the kids were getting ready for bed, I entered the laundry room with the pee-clothes and a few other things to round out the load. I opened the the lid of the washing machine.

It was so beautiful.

Seriously. I actually called GG in to look at the inside of this machine because it was so shiny and CLEAN.

I felt like Indiana Jones.

(image from

I said to GG, "I feel bad putting our dirty clothes in this gorgeous washing machine." I was only half-kidding.

But I put them in anyways. After all, you can't leave pee-soaked clothes unwashed too long. I'd already delayed almost 24 hours, an unfortunate necessity while transporting the nasty things four thousand miles or so.

I delayed going to bed until the clothes were done so I could get them into the dryer. Even though I was dead-tired. But when the cycle was done, I got a nasty shock.

Someone had left GUM in their POCKET.

Yep. And what's nastier than a washing machine full of zillions of tiny gum bits? Not much.

So... I was stuck sitting up even later picking off and scraping up all that gum. 

Did I mention I was dead-tired?

But the worst part was: I had defiled this beautiful pristine piece of equipment within an hour of being introduced to it.

This is why I don't have nice stuff. And, if you have any nice stuff, you should probably keep me away from it.