The cupboard is not quite bare....

We're about to go away for a month, so I'm trying to use up some of the food stored in the pantry and freezer. Therefore, as of last week, I am not buying new food.

You can imagine how happy the kids are about this policy.

They act as if our kitchen looks like this picture, which I got from a food pantry's desperate appeal for donations, dated several years ago.
(image from http://www.praythenews.org.nz)

Here's ET's account of her current quest-for-snack procedure:

1. Check refrigerator.
2. Check pantry.
3. Lower standards.
4. Repeat as often as necessary.

They are so deprived....

In my defense, here is my ACTUAL reduced-stock pantry:

The Secret Oreo Stash

I bought some Double Stuff Oreos at the commisary and hid them when I got home because...

A) I had a recipe I wanted to use them in.
B) I didn't want the kids eating them all in one day.
C) They were MINE!!! ALL MINE!!!
D) All of the above.

Obviously the answer is (D), as anyone who's ever taken a multiple choice quiz knows. (It's a rule; if "all of the above" or "none of the above" appears on the list, it's the right answer. Unless it's a trick.)

Anyways, one night after all the kids had (supposedly) gone to bed and I was working on the computer, ET emerged from the kitchen munching something suspiciously black and white.

I asked her what she was eating, hoping she wouldn't say, "Oreos."

She said, "Oreos."

I said, "Aw, man! You found my secret Oreo stash?"

A slow smile spread across her face. "Actually," she said, swallowing. "These were in a Lunchable in the fridge. But thanks for letting me know there's a secret Oreo stash."

I said, "Aw, man!"

She went back in the kitchen and came back a minute or two later. "Found it!" she said trimphantly.

I sighed in defeat. "Just don't tell your sisters, okay?"

(above image from amazon.com)

The Girl Scout Cookie War

My mom was watching the kids when the neighborhood Girl Scout came to the door to deliver our cookies. Before she was able to finish paying, the boxes had been snatched away and a fight was on.

She entered the living room to find GG had devoured half a sleeve of Thin Mints and was holding them up out of Boo's reach.

(image from www.gsri.org)

When ordered to share the cookies with her sister, GG licked one and handed it to Boo. Ewwww.

Needless to say the Thin Mints were quickly confiscated and doled out by their grandmother in an egailtarian fashion.

Unfortunately, however, no Thin Mints survived the wars to greet me when I came home. So Mommy will have to start looking for her own Thin Mints...

Just FYI:
From the Girl Scout Website, a detailed diagram of the cookie box:

http://www.girlscoutcsa.org

Dudes! Can I just say, you had me at "the cookies's deliciousness"?
The rest of that information is a waste of print.

Creative Cooking

I made a new recipe for dinner.

And I guess I mean that literally, because I didn't have several of the ingedients it called for and I made a few substitutions.

The question is, When does it stop being a "subsitution" and start being a whole new recipe? I mean, out of the eleven ingredients I used.... three of them as directed.

It still tasted pretty good. Here's a photo--unfortunately, it's of the leftovers.

Yeah, it looked better last night.

If you're looking for great pictures of food, this is not the blog for you.

Here's a link to the real recipe, if you're interested:
/the-pampered-chef-creamy-broccoli-sun-dried-tomato-orzotto

Here's what I did:

Instead of "1 medium onion, chopped" I used some dried onion flakes.
Instead of "3 garlic cloves, pressed" I used some garlic powder.

(Can I just point out that I think pampered-chef includes both of these just to get you to buy the food chopper and the garlic press?)

"2 tsp (10 mL) olive oil" This one I actually had on hand. Hooray!
But that wasn't very much. I added 2 Tbsp of butter just to be safe.

"(1) Finely chop onion using Food Chopper. Combine onion, garlic pressed with, Garlic Press and oil in Deep Covered Baker. Microwave, covered, on HIGH 2 minutes."

(You see what I mean? In step ONE of the directions, no fewer than THREE pampered-chef products are mentioned.)

"1 1/2 cups (375 mL) uncooked orzo pasta" Check!
"3 1/4 cups (800 mL) chicken broth" Check!
"3/4 cup (175 mL) dry white wine such as Chardonnay" Um....I didn't have this. I threw in some more chicken broth.

"(2) Stir in orzo, broth and wine. Microwave, covered, on HIGH 14–16 minutes or until orzo is tender."

By the way, I used a ceramic dish I have that has a glass lid. It worked just as well as the $70 covered baker they used at the pampered-chef party I went to.

Using the microwave for a whole dinner was pretty cool, I have to say.

Okay. Here's where I veered way off course from the recipe.

"1 jar (8 oz or 210 mL) sun-dried tomatoes in oil, drained and patted dry" I didn't have that, and the jar costs like nine bucks. I threw in some bacon bits instead. They're also red, right?

"1 head broccoli (about 2 cups/500 mL florets)" I steamed some frozen broccoli on the stove.
"2 oz (60 g) Parmesan cheese" I didn't have this at all. Not even the icky powdered kind in the can. So I skipped it.

"(3) Meanwhile, thinly slice tomatoes using Santoku Knife; set aside. Cut broccoli into small florets. Grate Parmesan cheese using Microplane® Adjustable Grater; set aside. Carefully remove baker from microwave using Oven Mitts. Stir in tomatoes and broccoli. Cover; let stand 5 minutes."

"6 oz (175 g) mascarpone cheese" Again, I did not have this fancy-schmantsy chesse, and it costs like ten bucks a pound. I used Philadelphia cream cheese, which is good in pretty much anything.

"Chopped fresh parsley (optional)" As if! I threw some more bacon bits and some shredded cheese on top.

"(4) Add cheeses to baker; mix well. Let stand, covered, 2–3 minutes or until almost all of the liquid is absorbed. Garnish with chopped parsley, if desired."

This was an easy meal. It was all in one dish and I heated up some garlic bread to go along.

Everyone liked it, and as you can see, there was still some left over for later.

(all images from amazon.com)

My Kids' Grocery List

Wow. Think maybe they want me to buy bacon?

I Eat at McDonald's. Don't Judge Me.

(image from wikipedia.org)

Here's a strange conversation I had at my local Mickey D's.

McDonald's Counter Lady: Do you want some ketchup for your fries?
Me: No thanks. Could I have some salt?
MCL: How many?
Me: Two. If that's okay.
MCL: (hesitating) You know, the fries are already salted.
Me: I like a lot of salt.
MCL: That's not good for you.
Me: I know.
(We stare at each other a few minutes.)
MCL: (finally giving me the salt) Okay. Here you go.
Me: Thanks?

Okay. Seriously. I'm eating at MCDONALD'S. Do you think I want a lecture about healthy eating at this point? Come on!

And by the way, McDonald's, wouldn't you go out of BUSINESS if we all started caring about healthy eating? And then you, counter lady, would have no JOB!

So.... LEAVE ME ALONE, WILL YA?!

I'm just saying....