Storytime, interrupted

Storytime is a big deal at our house; I enjoy reading aloud and the kids usually enjoy listening. I like to use different voices for different characters, and can turn a good story into quite a little performance. The only thing I can't stand is when they aren't listening.

So I'm reading to my oldest three daughters tonight; they are ages 13, 10 and 7. (The babies are in bed already.) We are currently reading book four in the Starcatchers series by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson. It's an interesting take on Peter Pan; I recommend it if your kids like adventure stories.

                    

                  
(Forgive the product placement; I just figured out how to put images into my blog and I'm excited about it. This is a big thing for me, as a certified tech-inept.) So... moving on...



My oldest daughter likes to listen to the story, but she doesn't really like to admit it, so I am reading in the room shared by the younger two. They have bunk beds and a papasan chair, as well as a desk chair that I sit in to read. (Mommy doesn't sit on the floor.)


So today my youngest, whom we call Boo, was sitting in the papasan chair, where the oldest likes to sit. We'll call the 13-year old ET for Evil Teenager. So ET says to Boo, ever so sweetly interrupting my reading, "MOVE!"


Boo of course refuses to move, and I have to say, "Either sit on the floor or sit on Boo's bed." And with much grumbling, ET lies down on Boo's lower bunk, since it's too short for comfortable sitting.

I begin reading again, only to be further interrupted by a screech and a howl from ET, who vaults off the bed and into the center of the room, yelling, "There's POO on the WALL!!"

I roll my eyes at this ridiculous exaggeration, and Boo and her sister--let's call her GG for Giggle Girl--laugh hysterically. Boo says, "I can't get it off of there!"

I say, "There is NOT really poo on the wall," but ET insists, "There is, Mom; there really IS!"

GG is laughing so hard she can barely choke out, "There really is!" I turn to Boo with fire in my eyes.

Boo says immediately, "Neighbor Girl did it!"

Neighbor Girl is our family's Not Me (of Family Circle fame) except she is a real person who lives two houses down and seems to spend every waking minute at our house. So everything bad that I discover and don't know who did it--Neighbor Girl did it.

GG explains, "Neighbor Girl was holding our pet mouse and it pooped so she wiped it on me and I wiped it on Boo and she wiped it on the wall," before collapsing into more laughter. She adds, pithily, "I think I'm going to wet myself."

I take a deep breath. To GG I say, "Go to the bathroom," and to Boo I say, "Go get something to clean that off." They both scurry off and ET sits in the papasan chair, pleased by this turn of events.

When they both return, I continue reading. But basically, the mood is ruined for the adventure story, since all three girls continue to randomly giggle and say, "poo," under their breaths.

Then when GG throws something suspect--unrelated to the poo but definitely meant to make her sister THINK it is--onto ET's lap and much shrieking ensues, I give up and close the book.

And of course they all say, "No, no, we're sorry; keep reading Mommy. We'll be good and listen." But that's it for me.

I will NOT be upstaged by poo.