I've Been Edited... to DEATH!

I submitted a story to Reader's Digest a few months ago, and they published it!

YAY!

Except they edited most of my story out. I'm serious. I think the editor used a blowtorch to cut my story down.

I know, I sound like those disgruntled actors who say their best work ended up "on the cutting room floor." Like editors are out to get them or something. But I'm starting to sympathize with them a little now.

Just to let you know what I mean, here's the story I submitted:

When my husband and I were first married

in the early nineties, the Army had us

stationed in Germany. One of our favorite things

to do was to go to the movie theater on post.

Since this was the only theater in town that

showed movies in English, it was popular

among many of the soldiers and was often crowded.

When the movie Forrest Gump came out we

went to see it right away. The theater was full of

single soldiers in a rowdy group. I was concerned

that they would be disruptive during the show,

but they all quieted down during the film,

until the scene when the main character

graduated from college. Onscreen, as Forrest walked

out of the ceremony, he was met by a recruiter

who handed him a pamphlet about joining the Army.

Unable to hold his peace, one of the young soldiers

in the theater jumped up and cried, “Run, Forrest, RUN!”

Okay. Not the FUNNIEST story EVER, but not too bad, right?

Here's what they printed:

My husband and I were watching Forrest Gump

at the base theater. The crowd was pretty quiet

throughout the film, until the scene when Forrest

graduates from college and is met by an
Army recruiter. That was met with a shout
from behind us, "Run, Forrest, Run!"

Seriously. THAT'S what they printed. On page 66 this month.

Is it just me, or did they cut the funny right out of this story?

Assuming that it was ever funny in the first place....

Not even MENTIONING the fact that I was cut down from 157 words to less than 50 (Okay, I DID mention it. So sue me!), and that in the Army it's called a POST not a BASE (making me look like a moron who doesn't know her terminology!), I really think the story is not funny anymore after the editing.

But hey, it's been published, so why am I complaining?

Except, I'm wondering where's the check they promised me.....