Quote of the Day

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Sometimes we have a Quote of the Day for our family.

Usually it's when someone says something that sounds completely ridiculous when you put it out of context, such as the things I wrote about before in "Stuff Parents Say." (Remember? "How would YOU like it if your sister put cheese in YOUR phone?" Yeah, I thought you'd recall that...)

Or it's something that just so perfectly typical of the person who says it, like ET's "Go outside and pee on a tree, dumb butt," which I wrote about in "Sibling Love."

But this Sunday we had some competition for Quote of the Day.

The first stand-out quote happened in the morning when we were all getting ready for church. Everyone was downstairs and ET was the last one upstairs getting dressed.

Then she hollered, "Mom! Baby Boy is upstairs and he's EATING my deodorant!"

That's right. He'd knocked down the safety gate, climbed the stairs, and decided to find out if Cocoa Butter Kiss Secret tasted as good as it smelled.

Maybe it did, because he actually took TWO tiny bites...

Then after church we were supposed to go to my sister-in-law's for a Father's Day lunch, but we ran into a little trouble, causing me to speak Notable Quote #2:

"Can we come over a little early? We got kicked out of church."

What had happend was, the lady from the nursery had come to the sanctuary DURING THE OPENING HYMN to tell me Baby Girl had a weird rash and could I come get her because they didn't know if it might be contagious.

Well, I knew it wasn't from eating personal care products, since that was the other one.

Actually, I knew she had a rash, because she has very sensitive skin and often has rashes. And I was pretty sure this one was prickly heat, seeing as it's like NINETY-EIGHT DEGREES OUTSIDE every day right now!

And she's not used to those kinds of temperatures, since she lives in paradise full-time these days...

Anyways, one of my friends who is a nurse actually came out of church with me and looked at it. She said it was most likely heat rash.

But we still had to leave the premesis once I'd removed the twins from the nursery and they'd begun running up and down the church halls, and it was only 11:15 a.m. So I piled all the kids in the car.

Which brings us to the final contender for Quote of the Day (drum roll please)...

"Stop beating your sister with a rubber glove!"

I was getting gas on the way to my sister-in-law's house and the kids were "entertaining themselves" in the car with a box of rubber gloves.

Why would we have a box of rubber gloves in the car, do you ask?

Well...on Saturday we visited my 90-year-old great-aunt at the nursing home. She is the sweetest lady; she always wants to give you something when you visit her.  But when you're in a nursing home, there's not that many things you have around to give away. So she gave me a box of rubber gloves.

She tried to give me a box of adult incontinece wipes too --"to wipe the babies' faces," she said-- but I declined. I was a little afraid the Depends Undergarmets weren't far behind...

I tried to decline the rubber gloves too, but once the kids saw them it was all over.

They were blowing the gloves up like balloons, wearing them and making weird noises, making them into bracelets... and, of course, pummeling one another with them.

So that was Sunday morning, before noon...

Don't even get me started on the REST of the day!