This is a Bible verse (Psalm 133:1) my mother used to quote to my brother and me when we were fighting. As I read it, even now, it still sounds as if it’s being said through gritted teeth!
With my own kids, there are moments when they all are getting along and playing happily together, and this verse comes to mind. Unfortunately, these moments are rare.
A few months ago, ET, my 13-year-old daughter, was in the bathroom. In the grand tradition of teenagers, she is often in the bathroom. We are thinking of moving her bed in there.
On this particular day, GG (aged ten) started banging on the door. According to their father, the conversation went like this:
ET: Go away!
GG: But I have to GO!
ET: Use the other bathroom!
GG: Boo’s in there!
ET: Then go outside and pee on a tree, dumb-butt!
Of course, she was reprimanded for insulting her sister, and made to hurry up and get out of the bathroom. But my husband had to come and tell me about that last comment, because it’s just so typical of ET. I actually wrote that quote down because it was just ET in a nutshell.
As the oldest child, she is the most responsible of all the siblings; however, she is also the bossiest. Last night she decided to clean her room. I rejoiced over this decision, since I haven’t actually seen her floor in a few months. But it was a big job, so she started looking for help.
I witnessed the following conversation in the kitchen:
ET: So…do you want to help me with something?
GG: (suspiciously) Why would I do that?
ET: I’d pay you $5.
GG: (even more suspiciously) What is it?
ET: Help me clean my room.
GG: Oh, okay!
They both went off together. ET seemed strangely cheerful about the arrangement. I thought it was nice that they were going to be working together and had come to such an amicable agreement. Since parting with $5 was involved, I should have been more suspicious.
About ten minutes later I heard screams coming from ET’s room. I sighed and called down the hallway.
Me: What’s going on back there?
ET: I fired GG!
Me: Why?
ET: She’s a lazy slacker!
GG: I am not!
ET: You’re fired! Get out!
GG: You’re a meanie!
Thus GG was ejected from the room. A few minutes later ET herself emerged, smiling sweetly at her next sister, Boo, who is seven.
ET: You want to earn $5?
Boo: Okay!
This only lasted about five minutes before Boo was back in the living room. I was surprised, mostly because no one was screaming this time.
Me: I thought you were helping ET clean her room?
Boo: I quit.
Me: Why?
Boo: She’s mean. She wanted me to do all the work and she just sat there.
GG: I know right?
Daddy: (looking up from the computer) She made YOU do all the work in HER room?
Me: She offered to pay them.
Daddy: (returning to the computer) Oh.
Boo: She said HELP her clean. She didn’t say do it ALL.
GG: I know. She’s a meanie.
Boo: Yeah.
So ET continued cleaning her room alone while her sisters watched TV in the living room.
A few minutes later one of ET’s friends showed up. She said she’d left her glasses in ET’s room during a sleepover the night before. I wished her good luck in finding anything in that room.Then I heard the girl exclaiming over the sight of ET’s floor and went to investigate. Lo and behold! To my amazement, the floor was actually visible! And the glasses were located in a trice! I was shocked and congratulated ET on making such quick progress.
Me: Wow! Your sisters must have really helped!
ET: Yeah. But they quit so I don’t have to pay them.
Me: What?
ET: I figured if I made them do everything they’d get mad and quit. Then I wouldn’t have to pay them.
Me: (speechless)
ET: If only the babies were old enough to help…
But every once in a while, ET does get a little of her own back. I was giving the twins a bath one night last week and GG was helping me. ET came in and saw us all in there.
ET: Aw! I’ve got to GO!
GG: Go in the other bathroom.
ET: Boo’s in there!
GG: (with a big slow grin) Then go outside and pee on a tree!
She’d been waiting months to say that!
Hilarious! We really miss GG, she always had us laughing! Tell her Allie says hi!
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