Visiting the New Parents

Saturday night I went to a birthday party for one of my husband’s colleagues. Most of his colleagues are younger than he is, which is what comes from starting a new career at 35, but that’s another story.
This was a birthday party for a guy who’s turning 30.

Whereas I’ll be turning 40 this year. Ugh.

This guy and his wife just had their first baby a few months ago.

Whereas we had our first baby almost FIFTEEN YEARS AGO! Amazing.

It’s like looking at a strange version of our younger selves. They have all that wonderful parenting ahead of them.

It makes me want to say, “Good luck, suckers!”

Anyways I spent the whole time in a state of terror that my three-year old twins would wreck something.

Their house was just so CLEAN! They’re still in that stage where the kid clutter is manageable. Since the baby is pretty much immobile.

They had two small baskets of baby toys, which the twins discovered immediately and had strewn about in three seconds. I was trying to rescue toys as fast as the twins could secret them under furniture or twist them into unusable forms.

Plus there was a cat who should have hidden at the sight of us, quite honestly. Enough said about THAT poor animal.

Then the twins spent a good half-hour running in circles and screaming. I know that the young parents were thinking about how THEIR child will NEVER act like this.

Again I say, “Good luck, suckers!”

The final culmination of all this was when the twins nearly body-slammed the person carrying the birthday cake to the table.

Or maybe it was when Baby Boy started choking on his cake and threw up in their (sparkling-clean) kitchen sink.

In any case, I know when it’s time to go.

We left about twenty minutes after THAT time had passed, however.

Happy parenthood, you two.

And good luck, suckers!