She said, “Would you like something to drink? We have a large selection of nonalcoholic beverages, such as blended teas and lemonades.” Then she gave us a big bright smile. I ordered my usual diet coke and my husband ordered his usual water and she went away.
(image from sodahead.com)
Then I turned to my husband and said, “Why did she offer us the nonalcoholic drinks? Is it that obvious that I don’t drink alcohol? She can just tell by looking at me?”He shrugged. “I don’t know. Why do you care?”
I said, “Well, what’s the matter with me? Do I look totally uncool or something?”He said, “Would you rather she thought you were some kind of lush?”
I said, “No, of course not. But I just want to know how she guessed. Do I give off some kind of mom-in-a-minivan VIBE or something? Am I Urkel now?”
(image from wikipedia.com)
He rolled his eyes. “So order a drink then, just to show her. I DARE YOU.”
“I will not!” I said, all shocked.
He said, “That’s ridiculous. You don’t want the drink. But you also don’t want to LOOK like the kind of person who doesn’t want the drink. Do you not see how crazy that is?”
Of course I did. And I was annoyed with him for pointing it out.
YES I'm uncool. YES I'm crazy. But DON'T point it out! That's just rude.
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