The Terrible Two's, Times Two!

The twins have been in rare form recently. They are in a major exploration phase. I know that I should expect this, having parented two-year-olds before (THREE of them!), but the trouble seems to be multiplied exponentially with twins.


They are “investigating” everything we own. I cannot count the number of markers, pens and pencils I have confiscated recently.

And yes, they WERE permanent markers. On the walls the cabinets, the floors… Let’s just say, it’s a good thing the housing office is planning on tearing this place down after we leave. (Part of a restructuring plan, NOT because of my kids! At least that's what I like to tell people.)

A little while ago Baby Girl got a hold of a red Sharpie and marked all over her own legs. She looked like she’d been attacked by Wolverine!

The refrigerator and dishwasher have been rigged with bungee cord locks. But SOME people (Ahem, other children in the family!) have been neglecting to return the fridge bungee cord after getting out a drink or snack, thus leaving it vulnerable to BABY ATTACK.

This has resulted in many spilled condiment bottles, a smashed carton of eggs, and countless pilfered grapes, both eaten and secreted under furniture.

In addition, a faulty cabinet lock (which has since been fixed) caused the liberation of a couple of spare rolls of paper towels.

When I came back from the bedroom where I was changing the sheets one day, I found Baby Boy with one entire roll completely unrolled one in a long line all over the living room, kitchen and entryway. I caught Baby Girl bringing the second roll with a big smile.

In general, if the twins have been out of sight for more than a minute, CHECK ON THEM.

I have caught them stacking things to climb on the kitchen counters or bookshelves, removing DVD’s from high shelves and whipping them out of their cases to use as Frisbees, wadding up an entire package of paper napkins into used-looking balls… I could go on here, but you get the idea.

Nothing in the house is safe, and now they seem to be moving OUTSIDE the house.

Wednesday at Wal-Mart I gave the babies each something to hold while I was shopping. I usually do this to keep them quiet.

I was in the vitamin aisle, where I was crossing “gummy vitamins” and “fish oil capsules” off my list. Both were wrapped in plastic, so I figured they would be safe for the twins to hold.

I gave Baby Boy the kids’ vitamins and Baby Girl the fish oil. Baby Boy went to work on his childproof cap and Baby Girl starting trying to open her bottle. I figured I had a few minutes before they accomplished anything.

I was wrong.

While the childproof cap (covered in plastic film) on the vitamins was holding well, apparently the plastic on the fish oil bottle did not extend over the lid. In a flash Baby Girl had unscrewed the cap and was popping the inner seal.

I took the bottle away immediately, prompting Baby Girl to cry and wail, “Candy! Candy!”

Maybe I should have just let her eat one of the fish oil capsules.

That’s about as far from CANDY as you can get.

Would it have helped her stop this relentless exploring? Probably not. She IS two after all.

But it might have been fun to see her face….