How to Embarrass Your Teenager

A couple of years ago my oldest daughter started middle school.

That was part of her transition from Sweet Little Girl to Evil Teenager. It’s a process, I’m sorry to report, that seems to have come to completion.

Anyways, before school began the administration sent out a letter saying that parents would be allowed to attend with their sixth graders on the first day. The letter said that parents were “encouraged to share” this happy day with their children, and were invited to go from class to class with their student to help ease the transition into middle school, and reduce the stress of the first day.

As I have not forgotten the experience of being a middle-schooler myself, this letter caused me to laugh out loud.

When I was in sixth grade, I’m pretty sure nothing could have made my first day MORE stressful than having my MOM along!

So I decided to share the chuckle with my daughter, by reading her this letter aloud and pretending I might actually accept the school’s invitation.

As I was reading, her eyes got so huge I thought they might pop out of her head.

It was hysterical.

I let her mouth hang open in horror a few seconds before letting her know I wasn’t planning on going along with her to middle school.

I think her relieved sigh was heard for miles around.

It turned out that one or two clueless parents actually DID take the school up on this offer, however.

Sure stinks to be THAT kid!

Well, I am bringing this up because I just recently read a review of a new parenting book called “My Teenage Werewolf” by Lauren Kessler.

This is totally real; NO LIE!

Allow me to quote from the amazon.com version:

(I capitalized some phrases for emphasis. You’ll have to add the tone of horrified incredulity yourself.)

“Kessler, the author of five narrative nonfiction books, explores the mother/daughter relationship at a PARTICULARLY VULNERABLE POINT—the cusp of her daughter's entry into adolescence. At 12, Lizzie is often at odds with her author mom, who describes her chilly relationship with her own mother. Not wanting to repeat a distant and dissatisfying relationship with her offspring, Kessler decides to dive into her daughter's world. She embeds herself in middle school, FOLLOWING LIZZIE FROM CLASS TO CLASS, probing her peer relationships, online pastimes and cyberfriends, athletic and summer camp life….Mothers of girls in particular will be alternately amused, horrified, and entertained as they view the turmoil and triumphs of adolescence from Kessler's insightful perspective.”

Oh. My. Gosh.

I could NOT make this stuff up, people!

It REALLY stinks to be THAT kid!

What could be worse than a distant and dissatisfying relationship with your mother, Ms. Kessler?

Hmmm…how about a mom stuck to your left arm like a LIMPET all through middle school?

Of course I had to share this story with my (now 13-year-old) daughter too.

She agreed this woman makes me look like Mother of the Year.

I know that’s not much of a compliment, but I’ll take what I can get.