Can Someone Please Poke Out My Eyes?

There’s something seriously wrong with commercials nowadays.

It seems like they are determined to force me to  look at images that should NEVER be in front of my eyeballs.

Case in point: The Charmin Bears.

I mean, I may be seriously dating myself here (and this WAS a little before my time), but remember when commercial spokesman were too classy to even mention their competitors by name and always tested their product against “Brand X?”

Classiness in commercials? Those were the days.

Of course, I suppose they were also the days when advertisers used people dressed as physicians to sell cigarettes…

Now I admit that was a jerk move. (But it did look classy!)

But now, do you REALLY have to talk about (ahem) male enhancement on TV? REALLY?!

Every time I watch Lifetime, they’ve got to show this footage of older people smiling suggestively at each other, and the heading upstairs hand in hand. Oh PLEASE spare me!

And it’s not just that. The demonstration of feminine products in TV ads has been grossing me out for years. When they start pouring that blue water on the maxi-pad? Ewwwwwwww.

But now we’ve got to talk about EXACTLY what we use toilet paper for? And actually SHOW it, albeit on cartoon form?

Come ON! We all know what T.P. is for. Can’t we just leave some things unsaid?

And unPICTURED?! (I’m talking to YOU, amorous Grandma and Grandpa!)

Please Charmin! No more close-ups of the cartoon bears’ butts!

I’m begging you!