Retreat Weekend

So this weekend I went to a FABULOUS women’s retreat with the ladies from my Bible study group at the chapel here on post. You may ask: You live in Hawaii; you’re already in paradise! Where do you go for a retreat?


Well, I’ll tell you, it wasn’t too far of a drive! We went to the Ko’olina, which is a resort hotel (complete with a spa) on the beach about fifteen miles or so from my house. It was gorgeous there! I had a beautiful room I shared with a friend with a view of the ocean.

Here’s a picture of me relaxing in my room. HA! HA! Obviously I copied this from the Ko’olina website and that is a model. And pardon me, but who are we marketing to here, with Svetlana here in her underwear? But I digress…

We spent Friday evening with food and fellowship (is that redundant? doesn’t fellowship automatically mean food?) and then the next day we listened to a great speaker and did fun activities.

Plus I only had to worry about feeding, washing, and clothing my own self for twenty-four hours! Now you see how I was REALLY in paradise?

Friday evening we had a picinic --excuse me, thought I was Yogi Bear for a minute there; I meant PICNIC-- on the beach. I took that fabulous photo of the sunset with my cell phone.

Then we had a “pajama party” in my room with desserts. I started to miss my kids and husband as it got later…but then I saw there was chocolate pie!! …and I forgot…

On Saturday morning we woke up bright and early; breakfast was at 8:00. I wish I had taken a picture of my room and the HUGE bathroom because it was SO nice! The shower was like a big glass box; I felt like I was in one of those display cases for signed baseballs or something. It looked like you were supposed to invite people in to watch you perform The Theater of The Shower or something. Maybe if I looked like our friend Svetlana above… but obviously, I didn’t do that!

After breakfast, the first thing we did was a few icebreaker games. The first one was a purse scavenger hunt. I thought I had that one cinched, but apparently there is a bigger purse pack rat than me in our group! (A flashlight? A screwdriver? A floppy disk?! Come on!) The second game was guessing advertising slogans. My team NAILED that one! (Which does NOT mean we watch too much TV, by the way.) We all received medals made from York Peppermint Patties. Do I know their slogan? Of course! Get the sensation, right?

So I was still on a big winner’s high as the speaker, Dawn O’Brien began. She started out with a few jokes about how competitive our groups were in the games. She was right! Some of our ladies were really in a smackdown! I’m glad I wasn’t one of them…

During the opening I unwrapped my big peppermint pattie and ate it. But I’d forgotten that sometimes peppermint doesn’t agree with me. And that was a LOT of peppermint! Just as Dawn began to get to the part about her poor and tragic childhood, I started to feel sick to my stomach. Talk about getting the sensation!

Now the door of the meeting room was all the way in the front, meaning that to go to the restroom I would have to walk up in full view of everyone and exit behind the speaker. So I tried to calm my stomach down with a little mental pep talk. It will go away soon, I told myself. I never throw up, right? I asked myself. Unless I’m pregnant, I answered myself. Ha ha, I tried to reply.

Now THAT’S when I started to panic a little. Suddenly I was like, Oh NO! I’m going to throw up all over the beautifully decorated table at this Christian ladies’ conference, and then I’m going to have A SIXTH CHILD?!?! ARRRGGGHHH!!!

So I got up, hyperventilating a little, and walked briskly out the door to the restroom. Of course, the nausea passed. I did not throw up. And I am NOT pregnant. I don’t think.

When I came back in, through the front door again of course, Dawn had just finished the story of her tragic childhood. People were sniffling, kleenexes were out, and I tried to slink as quietly as possible to my seat. All the way in the back far corner.

At least I didn’t miss her salvation story, and how she became a speaker and Christian radio personality. That was the important part, right?

Well, the rest of the day was fabulous as well, with some great sharing a prayer time, and even a craft! I made a beautiful bracelet.

And when I got home, all the kids were still alive, the house was not any more trashed than it usually is at six in the evening, and my husband had made dinner! (He’d ordered pizza, but that qualifies in my book!)

All in all a WONDERFUL weekend.

Now I’ve got to check the calendar… when was my last period?