Traveling is Stressful, Part 1

We are going on a trip to the mainland on Friday. (That’s what they call the rest of the US here in Hawaii, "the mainland." Not “the States” like we did in Germany because obviously, we are still IN the US, even though it doesn’t seem like it.)

So why am I already writing about travel being stressful, when we haven’t even LEFT yet? Oh, so many reasons…

First of all, since we arrived here less than a year ago, our trip to Hawaii is still pretty fresh in my mind. And it was tough. Thirteen hours on a plane with five kids is no joke.

My husband had come ahead of us to get housing, and report to his job, so my mother came with me to help with the kids. Which was a fun vacation for her, as you can imagine!

But they split our seats up all over the plane, so we couldn’t sit together. You can imagine how I felt when I saw the seating arrangements, with Baby Boy and Baby Girl seated far away from me. I was like, Should I just hand some stranger the diaper bag and say, See you in thirteen hours? The people on the phone had said they would be able to fix this at the gate so I could sit with my children, but it turned out the best we could get was three seats together, and then two and two.

So my mom sat with one of the babies, I sat with the other baby and the six-year-old, and the two older girls sat together. I hate flying anyways, but that made the trip so much worse, not being able to see all of my kids and know that they hadn’t killed each other. Yet.

So I have been really dreading this plane trip. And one of the things I was comforting myself with was, At least this time their father will be there to help with the kids, and we’ll all be able to sit together because I made the reservations eight months in advance.

But when we looked over our reservations this weekend, I saw that there were no seat numbers on the itinerary. This made me really nervous, so I decided to call the 1-800 number for Cheap-O Air, the company we made the reservation through, just to make sure.

First of all, perhaps dealing with a company called Cheap-O Air might have been a mistake. In retrospect, the name just doesn’t imply excellence.

So I called them on Tuesday, because I had to spend Monday psyching myself up for it. (I really HATE making these kinds of calls) I waited on hold about fifteen minutes to get a person, and when I finally did the lady told me there were some changes in my itinerary.

They’d shaved an hour off of our hour and 45 minute layover time on the way to Birmingham, and they’d added an hour to our four-hour layover coming back to Honolulu. Couldn’t you have reversed that? I thought.

But anyways, about my SEATS, I said. She said, Oh yeah, since you’ve had these time changes the tickets will have to be reissued, so I can’t tell you that right now. She suggested I call the airline directly to find out.

So on Wednesday (after more psyching myself up; I did I mention I hate making calls like this?) I called the airline. I spent ten minutes wrangling the bad voice-recognition software:

Fake Computer Chick: What would you like to do today? You can say, “Make reservation,” “Change your reservation,” “Check flight status,” or “More choices.”
Me: More choices.
Fake Computer Chick: I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. Would you like to: “Make reservation,” “Change your reservation,” “Check flight status,” or “More choices.”
Me: MORE CHOICES!
Fake Computer Chick: I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. Would you like to: “Make reservation,” “Change your reservation,” “Check flight status,” or “More choices.”
Me: ARRGGHH!!!!
Fake Computer Chick: I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.

After screaming SPEAK TO AN AGENT in my most enunciated voice about twenty times, I finally got a person. They said that since I had made the reservation through an outside agency they would have to charge me $15 a person to do anything for me. I’m going, Seriously?

So I hung up and called Cheap-O Air back. I waited another fifteen minutes to get a person, and when I did he didn’t seem really confident in his English-speaking abilities. I’m going to call him Duh Man, for reasons that will soon become obvious. I told Duh Man my reservation number, and my name and address, and he said he would check on it.

After five or ten minutes (he said his system was “running slow” today) Duh Man came back to say my tickets had not yet been issued. Would I like the tickets to be issued?

Uh, YES! That’s why I’m calling you! Duh!

He said to hold again while he spoke to someone in ticketing. After about twenty minutes he came back:

Duh Man: Um, yeah, those tickets haven’t been issued because your reservation was never made.
Me: WHAT?
Duh Man: Um, yeah…
Me: You’re saying I have NO RESERVATION!?
Duh Man: Um, yeah…
Me: But I have a confirmation number! I have an e-mail right here with my itinerary!
Duh Man: Um, that was never finalized or anything…
Me: WHAT?!?! So what am I supposed to do now?!?!
Duh Man: So, um, I’ll have someone from ticketing call you…
Me: When will they call me? Later today?
Duh Man: Um, yeah, today or tomorrow…
Me: They can call me back today?
Duh Man: Um, probably tomorrow….
Me: So someone will call me back sometime? That’s all you can do for me?
Duh Man: Um, yeah… Unless you want to book a hotel or something?
Me: NO I don’t want to book a hotel! Because apparently I’M NOT GOING ON A TRIP!!!!
Duh Man: Well, um, it’s okay…Your reservation’s not until November anyways...
Me: No, it’s FRIDAY! My trip is THIS WEEK!
(short pause)
Duh Man: What was that confirmation number again?

Well, you can see where THIS is going. He spent 30 minutes working on SOMEONE ELSE’S TICKETS!!!

So the good news is, I DID have a reservation, and my seats are together, (I made Duh Man READ ME the seat numbers) and I don’t have to worry about anything, right? Except maybe a HEART ATTACK from the scare this guy gave me!

So traveling is stressful. And we haven’t even LEFT yet!
 
I can't even IMAGINE what the trip itself will be like. Stay tuned for part 2...