PJ Day can be stressful

(image frommrssearles2ndgradeclass)

It was pajama day at Boo's school today.

She wanted to participate, but was afraid. She thought, What if no one else does it?

She thought, What if I have the wrong day, or all my friends suddenly decide pajama day is suddenly uncool?

She thought, What if I'm the only one in the entire fourth grade wearing my pajamas to school?

So she carefully packed regular clothes in her bag, just in case, and watched the kids going into school as I drove through the parking lot to drop her off.

I pointed out several kids wearing PJ's. She witheringly told me they were "little kids."

I pulled up to the dropoff point, but Boo did not get out. She sat in the back on the van, frozen by indecision.

Then she suddenly burst into a flurry of activity. I looked back at her.

She had changed into regular clothes and was stuffing the PJ's in her bag.

As she left the van, I wondered, is she already too old for pajama day?

But when she came home, the PJ's were back on. All her friends had been wearing them after all!

Not too old yet...

You Can't Play That Here

My four-year-old son is getting in trouble at preschool for playing a forbidden game.

I asked the teacher about it, because he kept getting a frowny face in his take-home folder, and for two days in a row she had written down "gun."

The teacher said, "He's been taking a block and pretending it is a G-U-N. He was even making the sound with his mouth! Also another child began to imitate him!"

(image from http://165.201.143.141/)

I tried to look suitably shocked. Little boys pretending to shoot guns?! Oh the horror!

She explained further. "I redirected their play, and I showed him that the block can be a tower or a house, but that it is inappropriate to use it as a G-U-N. But then a few minutes later..." She paused here and added very gravely, "He was doing it again."

Again I tried to match her grave expression. Well, I mean, I tried to keep a straight face.

It was difficult.

I understand the school's policy is against violent play. I really do, and I will back the teacher up 100% on that. (Little Boy didn't get his being-good-at-school-treat that day.)

However... I can't really get all that worked up about it. Maybe it's because I'm from Alabama.

Also, here's the thing: Little boys pretend to shoot guns. Kids play war. They just DO, okay?

And, let's get real here: Most of the kids at this preschool are from military homes. Their families' livelihoods are actually BASED on war.

So excuse me if I'm not at DEFCON ONE when my son aims a block at someone and says, "Pow! Pow!"

Sorry, folks!

Schedule, Interrupted

So it's the second week of school here in paradise, and I've got my drop-off and pick-up schedule pretty much down.

(Oh, you can skip the schedule and go straight to the beginning of the actual story if you want. I just want to feel validated by writing out the boring junk I do all day so it looks like I'm really accomplishing something.)

(image from http://post639.com)

Morning schedule:
7:05 Leave house
7:15 Drop ET and GG at their faraway bus stop
7:20 Bus picks up ET
7:25 Bus picks up GG
7:30 Drop Boo at the elementary school
8:00 Take the twins to preschool
8:15 FREEDOM!

Afternoon schedule:
(Monday/Tuesday)
12:30 Pick up the twins from preschool
1:45/1:55 Pick up ET at the high school
2:05 Pick up Boo at the elementary school
2:35 Pick up GG at the middle school

(Wednesday)
12:30 Pick up the twins from preschool
1:15 Pick up Boo at the elementary school
1:45 Pick up GG at the middle school
1:55 Pick up ET at the high school

(Thursday/Friday)
12:30 Pick up the twins from preschool
2:05 Pick up Boo at the elementary school
2:35 Pick up GG at the middle school
2:40 Pick up ET at the high school

Yeah. I know, that was tedious to read through. Believe me, it's worse to LIVE through.

Okay, here's the BEGINNING OF THE ACTUAL STORY:

Wednesday, in only week TWO of school, my schedule already got messed up.

There was a big monkey wrench thrown in, called My Kids Forgot Stuff. Perhaps you other moms have also encountered this little snag in the day's schedule before.


http://assistechblog.wordpress.com

We got to the elementary school, and Boo said, "I forgot my notebook."

I said cheerfully, "That's okay. We'll go back and get it. There's plenty of time."

We drove back home. On the way, my cell phone rang.

It was GG. "I forgot my school ID."

Since my oldest already went to the middle school I know this is a detention-punishable offense. So I said, still cheerful, "Okay. I'm going home anyways; I'll get it."

We got to the house and Boo ran in and got her notebook. I ran in also and looked on the hook where GG is supposed to hang her bag and ID.

The ID was not there.

Neither was it in the hallway, the bathroom, or the girls' bedroom.

I called GG and she didn't answer. I texted her. I gave up and left.
I took Boo back to school and my phone rang again. I pulled over in front of the school to explain to GG less-than-cheerfully that she needed to go to the office and tell them her ID was lost. Surely she is not the first seventh-grader who has forgotten her ID in the history of that school. They must have some provision for this situation.

While I was explaining this, a military policeman knocked on my window and informed me that I could not park there.

I said, in a non-cheerful way, that I was not parked. I hung up on GG and left.

Then I texted her:
You got me in trouble with the MP's.

She texted me:
Im sry
And yet ur still txting
niiiiice mom

I took the twins to preschool and walked them in, which takes about fifteen minutes since I have to make them hang up their backpacks, stow their lunchboxes, find the little turtles with their names, et cetera.

During that time GG informed me that I needed to bring her $5 for a new ID so that she would not get detention.

I seriously considered texting her back:
Im sry
And just moving on the the next item on my schedule: FREEDOM!

However my general policy is to allow a grace period for forgetfulness. That is, I will bring you your forgotten lunch/homework/whatever ONE TIME. If you forget again you are on your own. I am not your personal courier.

So I took her the five bucks.

I didn't get much gratitude for all this trouble. But I did get to resume my schedule.

I went on to... you guessed it!.. FREEDOM!

School starts early here in Hawaii

That's right! It really is paradise.....

No seriously, school started this week and I for one am excited about it. (The kids, not so much...)

This year I've got five kids in school every day at four different schools. This is super great while they are all gone, but not a great when it's time to drop them all off (at the same time) and pick them all up (at different times.)

I envision spending a lot of time in the car again this year.

Why are they not riding the school bus, (photo from wikipedia) you may ask? Well, I admit that was my plan.

I even paid for the bus to pick up my oldest two daughters. (Yes, in Hawaii you have to PAY for the school bus. Paradise ain't cheap, folks!)

But...due to contsruction in my neighborhood, the bus can't get up the hill, and the stop has been moved to like a mile from my house.

Yes, I found that out AFTER I had paid. Grrrr....

Anyways, since all my facebook friends were posting First Day of School photos of their smiling offspring, I made my older three kids line up outside with their backpacks and take a picture.

Apparently they didn't get the memo about the SMILING part.

But we did get a nice picture when preschool started a few days later. The twins were excited about school starting.

As my older kids say, "Of COURSE they like school! In preschool all they do is color and play outside!" Then they predict darkly, "They'll figure it out later."

But who is happiest about the first day of school?

THIS GIRL!!!

Apparently my daughter insulted the governor

GG took a field trip with her sixth-grade class to a "Middle-School Convention."

Whatever that is.

Anyways, here's the conversation we had about it, in the car after school.


(image from http://www.k12.hi.us)

GG: I saw the mayor or the governor or something there.
Me: (vaguely) Really?
GG: He gave a speech.
Me: Uh huh.
GG: We were right in the front row. He said he liked my hair.
Me: (more interested now) Really?
GG: Yeah.
Me: So was it the governor or the mayor?
GG: I dunno. Some white dude.
Me: What was his name?
GG: I dunno. I think it started with an A.
Me: Was it Abercrombie?
GG: I think so.
Me: You saw Neil Abercrombie? The governor of Hawaii?
GG: Yeah.
Me: At the middle school?
GG: Yeah.
Me: (incredulous) And he said he liked your hair?
GG: Yeah. So I said, "Thanks."
Me: That's good.
GG: And I said, "I like your head. It's shiny."
Me: WHAT?!
GG: Well, it was shiny.
ET: (entering the conversation) Dude. You called the governor bald?
GG: Well....he is.
Me: You met the governor. And you insulted him?
GG: I said I liked his head. That's not an insult.
ET: (snorting with laughter) Yes it is. Duh. You called him bald.
GG: (stubbornly) I said I liked it.
ET: What'd you say next? You're old, too?
GG: No. But he was old.
Me: I cannot believe this.

(Neil Abercrombie's image from http://en.wikipedia.org)

What's Einstein got to do with it?

Thought for the day: Be suspicious when your child suddenly spouts seemingly meaningless trivia about the school performance of famous people.

My eleven-year old said, when getting into the car after school on Friday, "Did you know Einstein failed math in school?"

You can probably guess where this is going, but I seem to be a little dense these days.

Then I received my first e-mail from the school's automatic grading system. (Although I do understand this is after only two weeks of school, and there's time to fix this.)

Language Arts   A
Writing              A
Science              A
Health                A
Career Journal   A
Math                  D
Homework        A

Uh huh. Apparently that (likely erroneous) bit of dead-celebrity trivia was code for, “I’m doing rather badly in mathematics, mother.”

Hey kid! Einstien was in trouble with HIS mother for this, and so are you!

image above from wikipedia
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A Pair of Crazy Preschoolers

The twins had their first day of preschool last week.

Only I just got around to taking their picture in front of the school today. People were walking around me while I tried to get them to BOTH look at the camera at the same time, which is pretty much impossible by the way, and giving me weird looks.

The other moms were all thinking, “Hey, lady! Didn’t you know the first day of school was a week ago?”

Sorry folks. We’ve got Kids Number Four and Five here. They’re lucky we don’t have to wait until next semester for me to remember my camera!

So we are working on adjusting to the preschool environment.

On the first day I returned to the sight that every preschool mom dreads: Baby Girl was not in the clothes I brought her in.

Which means, she was wearing her backup clothes that they keep in case of accidents.

Which means, she had an accident.

Which means, in other words, my kid’s the one who pooped her pants on Day ONE of preschool.

Yep. Looks like I’m going to be THAT mom this year. The one the teacher has to put on a grave face to TALK to at the end of school.

This suspicion was confirmed today when I was informed by the teacher at pick-up that BOTH twins had to be put in Time Out today.

According to the school’s discipline list, Time Out is like DefCon Three. It comes after (1) Warning and (2) Toy Confiscated or Child Removed. It’s only one step below getting sent to the principal.

(Not that Baby Girl and Baby Boy are particularly scared of getting sent to the principal. Seeing as they’re three years old.)

But anyways, the teacher put on her Serious Face and suggested that I talk to the twins about being quiet and sitting down during circle time.

I doubt this will do any good, but I’ll give it a shot. I’m going to read them a book about preschool and try to talk up sitting still and listening to the teacher. Honestly, it’s a hard sell for a pair of toddlers.

I felt like telling the teacher, “Look. They’re little savages. I know it. That’s why I’m bringing them to YOU to help me civilize them. Just keep putting them in time out. They’ll get it eventually.”

I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that we can refrain from more potty accidents.

I REALLY don’t want to be that mom!

The Going to School Blues

 

"Calvin and Hobbes" by Bill Watterson

It's getting on towards the end of the school year, and we've had a lot of whining recently in the mornings, particularly from GG and Boo.

You know the drill, whining, "I don't WANNA go to school!"

(ET, although she glowers at everyone all morning in true teenager form, goes off to school with a resigned air and hasn't been doing this as much.)

We've had some complaining about stomachaches too, but that's another story. Sufffice it to say, my general policy on staying home from school sick is: If you don't have a fever, and you're not throwing up, your butt is GOING to school!



This morning, GG looked at me sorrowfully right before leaving to wait for the bus.

"I don't want to go to school today, Mommy. But I'm doing this for YOU!"

Well, THANK you, dear.

Missing the Bus

Yesterday GG missed the morning school bus.

Every day I work hard to hustle her and Boo out the door in time to catch the bus, which as many of you know is like trying to herd a bunch of cats. We get almost through the doorway and one of them has forgotten something, or someone didn’t brush her hair, or there’s The Drama of The Shoes.

I mean seriously. Why can’t they ever find TWO shoes? That match each other, I mean. I’m thinking, you had two feet yesterday, and they were covered with two shoes yesterday! Why is there now suddenly only ONE shoe today? WHERE IS THE OTHER SHOE?

But yesterday we’d actually gotten through all of that, and both girls were sitting at the bus stop on the corner. I always sit on the porch where I can see them at the bus stop. Everyone was in place, when GG decided to begin another fun game they play sometimes: I Forgot Something.

I guess all kids play I Forgot Something, but mine seemed to have turned it into an Olympic event.

Here are the opening ceremonies of I Forgot Something:

First of all, the kid comes running back home.

Me: What’s the matter?
Kid: I forgot something.
Me: What did you forget?
Kid: Something….

This is followed by the front door slamming as the kid goes into the house for the mysterious object.

A few minutes later, the kid will re-emerge, looking exactly the same as she did before and carrying nothing. And this happens a couple of times a week. I have NO IDEA what they keep forgetting!

Anyways, usually the child doing this will hurry, and leave her backpack at the bus stop, assuming her sister will hold the bus for her if it comes. This is rather a big assumption, of course.

Well, yesterday, GG came back to play I Forgot Something , but she’d apparently decided on the slow-mo version.

She ambled back home, and I broke from the script and advised her to hurry up because it was almost time for the bus. She said she had plenty of time, that the middle school bus (which usually comes at least twenty minutes before the elementary school bus) hadn’t even come yet and ET was still sitting out there with the other middle schoolers.

So while she was in the house, a bus came and went. From where I was sitting I couldn’t see which bus, so I waited. When GG came back out, she walked to the bus stop, and then a few minutes later she walked back.

I went out to the yard to meet her. She said, looking at the ground, “Boo and the other kids are gone.”

I said, “You mean you missed the bus, after I told you to hurry, and you said you had plenty of time?”

(Sometimes I just can’t resist an I-told-you-so!)

 (Picture from http://icanhascheezburger.com/)

She paused a moment, and sighed deeply. “I guess you were right,” she said, mostly addressing the lawn.

So then it was MY turn to sigh deeply. Because I had to go get the twins up and dressed and drive to the elementary school!

It wasn’t really worth the I-told-you so.

By the way, later when I asked Boo why she didn’t ask the bus to wait for her sister, and she said she hadn’t noticed GG wasn’t there, because she was busy talking to her friend. GG thought that this was a lie, but I believe it; usually the girls completely ignore each other outside of the house.

Also, the middle school bus had just been late due to some sort of mechanical problem, which was of course unrealted to timeliness of the elementary schol bus.

Oh, and GG had come back to change her jeans into a different pair of jeans, because the first pair “looked weird.”

I guess the moral of the story is, Never assume your sister will hold the bus for you.

Or it could be, Listen to your mother, for goodness’ sakes, and HURRY!

Parenting Wars: Is it Homeschoolers vs. The Rest of Us?

Recently I have been reading some blogs about homeschooling and the choices parents make in that regard. It seems homeschooling is everywhere now; it’s the IN thing to do or something. Like it’s the new pet rock, or beanie baby.

Now don’t get your dander all up; I’m not belittling homeschooling! Obviously it’s a good choice for many families. I’m just pointing out how I keep hearing about it.

Okay, are you all settled down now, or did that make it worse?

All right, I apologize for the beanie baby comment! Can we move on?

I read a blog post from a homeschool mom about things other parents say to her. If you're interested in the post in its entirety, click HERE (But if you just want to keep reading, I'll sum it up.)

This blogger was talking about the questions she gets asked because she chooses to home school her kids. (i.e. “Don’t they need socialization?” “How do you have the PATIENCE for that?” etc.) She seemed rather offended by these questions, as if the people who asked were passing judgment on her for being backward or repressing her children somehow.

Well, I don’t homeschool my kids, and I will tell you that those questions are crowding into my mind every time someone says they do.

How DO you have the patience and organizational skills to pull that off?

How do you even know what to teach? I would be totally lost.

What ABOUT socialization skills? How do the kids learn to get along with other kids in the real world?

(I‘m just being honest here. Don‘t kill me, y‘all.)

And what is the reason behind all these questions, you homeschool moms ask? Is it because I, who send my kids to (gasp) public school think that you, who (gasp again) keep them home, are making the wrong choice for your child?

No. No it’s not. Because how can I know what is the right choice for someone else’s child?

Am I passing judgment on you for choosing to homeschool?

No, of course not! Far be it from me to pass judgment. (Except on my blog, ha, ha.)

Am I simply shrinking in horror at the thought of having kids home ALL DANG DAY?

Well…maybe a little bit….

Then I read another blog about parenting choices that kind of hit the nail on the head for me.
It’s about how we all have our insecurities as parents, and it’s always hard to be sure you’re doing the right thing for your child. (Again, if you want to read the whole thing, click HERE)

Basically, every time I hear a parent who makes a different choice than I do, I am forced to re-examine my own choices. Even when I’m pretty sure I’m doing the what’s best for my child.

It’s annoying; I don’t like to admit it. But there it is.

As soon as you say your child wasn’t learning well in public school and he is doing so much better at home, I think you’re saying that I’m a bad parent if I feel mine is okay in public school.

And, yes, rationally, I know that this is not the case. I do realize that not EVERY conversation is about ME. (Really!  I do!)

But that’s how it FEELS.

So that’s why we non-homeschool parents seem to be judging you homeschool parents with our pointed questions.

Because we think that YOU’RE judging US!

Isn’t that ironic?

Now…can’t we all just get along?

How to Embarrass Your Teenager

A couple of years ago my oldest daughter started middle school.

That was part of her transition from Sweet Little Girl to Evil Teenager. It’s a process, I’m sorry to report, that seems to have come to completion.

Anyways, before school began the administration sent out a letter saying that parents would be allowed to attend with their sixth graders on the first day. The letter said that parents were “encouraged to share” this happy day with their children, and were invited to go from class to class with their student to help ease the transition into middle school, and reduce the stress of the first day.

As I have not forgotten the experience of being a middle-schooler myself, this letter caused me to laugh out loud.

When I was in sixth grade, I’m pretty sure nothing could have made my first day MORE stressful than having my MOM along!

So I decided to share the chuckle with my daughter, by reading her this letter aloud and pretending I might actually accept the school’s invitation.

As I was reading, her eyes got so huge I thought they might pop out of her head.

It was hysterical.

I let her mouth hang open in horror a few seconds before letting her know I wasn’t planning on going along with her to middle school.

I think her relieved sigh was heard for miles around.

It turned out that one or two clueless parents actually DID take the school up on this offer, however.

Sure stinks to be THAT kid!

Well, I am bringing this up because I just recently read a review of a new parenting book called “My Teenage Werewolf” by Lauren Kessler.

This is totally real; NO LIE!

Allow me to quote from the amazon.com version:

(I capitalized some phrases for emphasis. You’ll have to add the tone of horrified incredulity yourself.)

“Kessler, the author of five narrative nonfiction books, explores the mother/daughter relationship at a PARTICULARLY VULNERABLE POINT—the cusp of her daughter's entry into adolescence. At 12, Lizzie is often at odds with her author mom, who describes her chilly relationship with her own mother. Not wanting to repeat a distant and dissatisfying relationship with her offspring, Kessler decides to dive into her daughter's world. She embeds herself in middle school, FOLLOWING LIZZIE FROM CLASS TO CLASS, probing her peer relationships, online pastimes and cyberfriends, athletic and summer camp life….Mothers of girls in particular will be alternately amused, horrified, and entertained as they view the turmoil and triumphs of adolescence from Kessler's insightful perspective.”

Oh. My. Gosh.

I could NOT make this stuff up, people!

It REALLY stinks to be THAT kid!

What could be worse than a distant and dissatisfying relationship with your mother, Ms. Kessler?

Hmmm…how about a mom stuck to your left arm like a LIMPET all through middle school?

Of course I had to share this story with my (now 13-year-old) daughter too.

She agreed this woman makes me look like Mother of the Year.

I know that’s not much of a compliment, but I’ll take what I can get.

May 5th is Boy's Day

So in Hawaii they celebrate Boy’s Day, which is a Japanese tradition, and is now officially called Children‘s Day to be fair. But everyone still calls it Boy’s Day of course. And actually there IS a Girl’s Day, which was on March 3rd. These holidays are to celebrate the children with the giving of small toys and cards, and decorations are made and displayed: paper dolls and flowers for girls, carp banners (symbolizing healthy young boys--see photo) and kabuto (war helmets) for boys.


Hmmm… a holiday celebrated by the giving of small toys and cards… Do NOT tell Hallmark about this! Or the Wal-Mart corporation!

The first I heard of this was when Boo, my seven-year-old daughter, came home a couple of months ago and said that it was Girl’s Day at school today. She showed me a paper doll in a kimono that she’d made and said that the boys had to let the girls go first today and put up the girls’ chairs at the end of the day. She was pretty happy about it, obviously. I kind of assumed her teacher had made this up. I asked her if there was a Boy’s Day too, and she said there was, but not for two months. Boo said, very seriously, that she’d probably want to absent that day.

Her older sister confirmed that this was an actual holiday, and I looked it up online.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/230162/japanese_holidays_imported_to_the_hawaiian.html?cat=40

The article explained the history of these holidays in Japan, which was interesting, and then suggested that we in the U.S. should celebrate our children more, and focus more of our love and devotion on them, so that they would be more like Japanese children. That’s where she lost me, I have to say.

Honestly, I don’t think ANYONE lavishes more love and devotion onto their children than Americans. Many experts agree that’s the PROBLEM with American kids, that they grow up thinking they’re the center of the universe because of all the LOVE and DEVOTION they get. I mean seriously! I think there’s a little more to the success of the Japanese children than one day of celebration a year!

You know, when I was a child I asked my mom why there was no Kid’s Day. I said, “There’s a Mother’s Day, a Father’s Day, even a Grandparent’s Day. Why isn’t there a Kid’s Day?” She said, “Every day is Kid’s Day. Now go clean your room.” (I’m kidding about that last part of course. I think.)

Interestingly, my husband says he asked his mom the same thing as a kid and received the same answer! What, was it in the Parents’ Manual, Nineteen-Seventies' Edition?

But now that I’m the mom, I can see what our mothers were saying. Every day IS Kid’s Day! I mean, their meals are made for them, their clothes are washed for them, they get driven anywhere they want to go… It’s every adult’s dream!

But I do think Boy’s Day and Girl’s Day are a fun idea after all. Even if just to make the kids do something for each other, like put up the chairs at the end of the school day.

And Boo is NOT allowed to be absent tomorrow!