The Big Black Trash Bag

My kids are messy.

Big newsflash there, right? I mean, what kids aren’t messy? And to be honest, I’ve stopped fighting against it as much as I used to. I guess I’m just tired.

I remember back when they were very little I used to be a lot more careful about picking up after the kids.

Of course, there were also fewer of them then…

Gradually, as the kids got older, most of the toys migrated to their rooms. And of course, I’ve always had to have a “baby-friendly-toys-only” rule in the main part of the house anyways.

Keep those choking hazards to yourself, big kids!

So the kids’ bedrooms are the truly messy part of the house now. And I have always taken a fairly lax stance on bedroom cleanliness. After all, they should be allowed to wallow in filth if they want, right?

Well, yes…up to a point.

But there IS a point where I can no longer take it. And we are reaching that point more and more often recently. Especially in Boo and GG’s room.

Enter The Big Black Trash Bag.

First of all, I let the kids know: If your room is so messy that I can’t find a path to walk in there and get your dirty clothes basket, and especially if said basket is mostly empty and all the dirty clothes are all over the floor, YOU NEED TO CLEAN UP!

If you refuse to clean up, The Big Black Trash Bag will come and clean your room. And when the Big Black Trash Bag cleans, some of your toys get sucked up in it, and they DON’T COME BACK!

Now, to be honest, I don’t actually throw away all their toys, although I am SORELY tempted to do so. Mostly I just get rid of things I know that they don’t play with, things that are broken, and things that are seriously annoying to me. (Hey little singing hamster! YOU’RE NEXT!)

Sometimes the threat of the Big Black Trash Bag will get the kids to clean up. But last weekend, a three-day weekend with plenty of time for cleaning, the threat was not enough.

So on Tuesday when the kids came home from school, they found that their room had been cleaned up while they were gone.

Boo went into hysterics. “Oh NO! The Big Black Trash Bag came! It really came!” she shrieked, throwing herself on the floor. It was the exact opposite of her reaction to a visit from Santa. I guess The Big Black Trash Bag is kind of the anti-Santa.

Sorry, Boo. But you were warned.