Why do people have to “tag” horrible pictures of me? I know, I know, “horrible” is a matter of opinion, but… Here’s a hint: If it’s a photo of the back of my head, don’t tag me! If my eyes are closed, don’t tag me! If only my giant behind is showing, don’t tag me! PLEASE! I’m begging you!
Okay, I guess I should admit here that it’s not the fault of the photo-taggers that I hate all pictures of myself. Perhaps I have a few personal issues.
(By the way, if you’re unfamiliar with facebook, “tagging” is where you label a picture as being of one of your friends, and it automatically shows up on that person’s page with their name on it.)
But now that the “new profile” has been implemented on facebook, the tagged photos are the first thing people see on my profile page. Hey, Facebook? You know why I carefully chose a flattering profile picture? So people won’t see what I really look like!
Let's just compare a bit, shall we? My profile picture is to the right of this post, so you can see the image I would prefer to present to the world. Here are some tagged photos from my facebook page:
Awesome, right?
And here we have a nice group of cute kids:
That's me, trying to edge out of the back of the picture. But I got tagged anyways!
Next we have my favorite:
Now this is EXACTLY what everyone wants on their facebook page! Posterior photography!
And I think this one is unflattering for this whole group, to be honest:
Yes, I'm the one in the "slimming" black swimsuit.
Well, I guess I've thoroughly shattered your illusions about me now, if you had any. Oh, well, it's all vanity, anyways, right? And it doesn't really matter.
The thing is, I worked really hard to get that profile picture just right, so I’m still recognizable but not hideous. I think it would almost have been easier to commission a portrait, like people used to in the 19th century.
John Singer Sargent, where are you now?
Those were the days, back when all you had to have a rich husband and some artist would be forced to paint a flattering picture of you, right? I mean, I seriously doubt Mrs. Waldorf Astor was really that pretty.
Well, okay maybe she was. But I’ll bet old John Singer could have made even me look good. If I'd had the money….
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