The Importance of 3D Glasses

My husband and I went to a 3D movie last night. We haven’t gone to too many of them, although it really seems to be the THING recently.

To the left you'll see the poster for the film we saw. Not that I'm endorsing it. Although if they were to make me an offer...

By the way, does anyone else think that the fact that the film “Yogi Bear in 3D” can actually MAKE MONEY is a truly dire sign for the future of entertainment?

The way things are going I think we’ll be seeing Shakespeare 3D before long!

Wait, I wrote that as a joke, but I just remembered I saw a preview for “Gnomeo and Juliet” last time we were at the movies. Yep. Garden gnomes as star-crossed lovers. Could be a sign of the apocalypse.

Anyways, we went to see “The Green Hornet” last night in 3D. My husband loves superhero movies, of which there seem to be plenty nowadays.

I remember when the first X-Men movie came out, before this genre was so popular. It had to be at least ten years ago. (Okay, I Googled it; it was 2000.) This was way before comic book movies became so mainstream.

It was a good movie, but I was glad I had a comic book expert with me to explain what the heck was going on. There was a lot of whispered, “Who is that?” and “What’s his special power?” and “Why did that just happen?” et cetera.

When the lights came up at the end I saw I was in a theater full of nerds. Male nerds, that is. I was the only chick in the place. Seriously.

The nerds were all looking at my husband incredulously, like, “Dude! Where’d you get a girlfriend?!”

Not that my husband is a nerd. I would never suggest such a thing.

But by the time we went to see the third X-men movie, years later, there were all kinds of people there. Including girls.

Superheroes: They’re not just for nerds anymore.

Anyways, we went to see the Green Hornet movie yesterday. We hadn’t planned to see it in 3D, since it costs an additional $4.00. However, when I checked the schedule I didn’t pay attention to the difference, and the time we’d picked turned out to be for the 3D movie.

Now, the last time I went to a 3D movie they just gave me some plastic glasses when I bought the ticket, and when the film was over, I tossed them into a “Return Glasses Here” bucket by the entrance. They didn’t seem to care much if you kept the glasses or returned them.

But this theatre treated the 3D glasses like they were extremely valuable objects. There was an employee assigned solely to sitting outside our theater and issuing the 3D glasses, making sure everyone only received one pair and that all pairs were returned properly. He took his job very seriously. I half-expected him to ask me to sign for the glasses.

He’s The Keeper of the 3D Glasses. It’s a sacred trust.

When I went to the restroom in the middle of the movie, The Keeper of the 3D Glasses was sitting out there guarding the door. He took my glasses away, saying he would return them when I came back.

Really?! What exactly did he think I was going to DO with the glasses in the bathroom? Dunk them in the toilet?

Maybe he thought I would run out of the building and steal them. Why would I pay $14 for a ticket to a 3D movie and then leave halfway through the film? Are these glasses worth THAT much?

After the movie, there was a “Return Glasses Here” bucket, but The Keeper of the 3D Glasses was there, manning it. He was a loyal soldier in the army of the movie theater, never deserting his post. No 3D glasses would be lost on HIS watch!

We were the last ones out of the theater --my husband likes to watch the credits-- so once he had collected our glasses, The Keeper of the 3D Glasses took the bucket solemnly back to the theater office. I expect he counted them carefully there, just to make sure a pair hadn’t slipped away, before carefully cleaning them for the next use. Perhaps he called them "my precious" as he did so.

Again, I’m wondering, How much can these things actually be WORTH? Why is it necessary to have a guy on this full-time, paying him an hourly wage to babysit a bucket of plastic eyewear?! (And what a boring job, too!)

Anyways, it was a mystery to me.

On a side note, the movie was pretty good. It had a clever script, as well as the requisite kicking-people-in-the-face sort of fighting, of which there was enough to earn a PG-13 rating. So that lets you know a lot of faces were kicked. And punched. And crushed by cars and/or falling elevators. (Whoops. Hope that wasn’t a spoiler there.)

But if you like superhero movies, I would recommend it.

Even if you aren’t a nerd.