Friday, September 17, 2010

Libraries Are For Everyone?


So…I got kicked out of the library today.

That’s right; you heard me. I got KICKED OUT of the LIBRARY today. Can you believe it?


(image from http://www.omakcity.com/library.html)

The elementary school was out today, for a teacher workday or something, and I thought it would be nice to take Boo and GG to the library so they could choose some books to read. (The middle school was still in session, so ET wasn’t with us.)

That’s a GOOD Mommy thing to do, right? Visit the library?

The problem was…can you guess it?…THE TWINS! Double trouble--TODDLER STYLE!

At the library they have one of those sensor things to walk through just as you come into the door (you know, to keep you from stealing books), and it’s just a smidge too narrow to fit my double stroller through. So visiting the library with the twins is always a real challenge.

My choices for library visitation are:

A. Go when someone else is watching the twins.

B. While twins are strapped in, turn stroller sideways, lift it up and carry it through the sensor opening, while avoiding tripping over the floormat covering the cables that run the sensor.

C. Hold twins by the hand and walk them inside.

Obviously, A is the preferred method, B is extremely hazardous, and C is nearly out of the question.

But today, foolishly, I decided to try Method C. After all, we’d be going directly to the children’s section, where the twins could look at books themselves. Plus I’d have two of the older kids to help me with them.

Going into the library was not too much of a problem; we did go directly to the children’s section and the twins were happy to look at book for a few minutes while their sisters browsed the shelves.

And although they were a little more vocal than the average library patron, I tried really hard to keep them quiet for the ten minutes or so we were there.

The real trouble came when it was time to leave. Neither one of the twins was in favor of the Library Exit Plan.

So I was trying to grab them and make them walk out, and they kept running off, or turning their legs to Jell-O and collapsing on the floor, or flinging off their shoes in protest.

At this point the noise level got a little high, I’ll admit.

And that’s when SECURITY showed up.

I’m totally serious here. An actual security guard (an intimidating-looking woman in uniform) came to the children’s section to tell me to leave.

I was like, What exactly do you think I’m TRYING to do here?

So I scooped up one screaming squirming twin in each arm, asked the older girls to retrieve the flying shoes and carry the books, and headed for the checkout counter.

But this was not good enough for the security guard. She followed me, and when I paused at the counter to put the twins down in a chair and hand GG my library card so we could check out our books, she disapproved.

She said, “You’re going to have to take those kids outside.”

I said, exasperated, “They’re two years old. We’re on our way out. Can’t you cut me some slack here?”

She said, “No. You have to get out.”

I’m not making this up. I promise. She did not even want to allow me to spend one minute checking out my books. I was being BOUNCED from the LIBRARY! Because I have KIDS!

Pardon me, but hasn’t this woman ever watched PBS? Aren’t we supposed to be encouraging kids to visit the library? Shouldn’t we be showing them that reading is fun and that the library is a nice place to go?

Like this actual library poster says, Aren't libraries for everyone?
Apparently not.

People were passing by this lovely little scene (Headline: SECURITY EJECTS DANGEROUS MOMMY FROM LIBRARY!) with their eyes averted like I was a bad train wreck or a criminal under arrest. Or maybe they were afraid of getting on Ms. Guard’s bad side too.

So I scooped the twins back up, asked Boo to get my purse, and walked out the door.

At which point the twins immediately stopped crying and began to run in circles on the porch.

GG was still inside the library at the checkout counter, so at least we were allowed to take our books with us after all.

Library MouseBut this whole thing was very upsetting for me. To put it mildly.

Watch out there, Library Mouse! Better settle down!

You don't want me to have to call SECURITY!


2 comments:

  1. Oh my stinkin' heck. You poor, sweet soul. I am laughing ( not AT you WITH you - when you choose to look back and laugh about this one day) and I am praying. Whew! My thoughts and my mouth toward that Security guard would have to be governed by the constant chant "What would Jesus do, What would Jesus do?' I don't even think we have one of those at the Hoover Library. Wow!

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  2. This is AWFUL. I would have raised absolute hell and complained to every superior that woman could possibly be connected to. It's not like you armed your children with crayons and told them to "go nuts" in the periodical section. It's not like you were swilling bourbon and beating them with your purse straps. CHILDREN in the CHILDREN'S SECTION--um, they're gonna act like children. I wonder how many mothers they've kicked out, then. I'd definitely already be banned from my local branch. Mine like to squabble loudly over use of the computers. You know...my mama's a children's librarian. She and I are fairly incensed right now.

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