Plus-Sized Living?

Today I got a catalog in the mail for “The Plus-Sized Home.”

I had no idea what that term meant. I get catalogs for plus-sized clothes, and I know what THAT means: clothing for fat chicks. (By the way, I’m allowed to say “fat chicks” with impunity because I AM one. It’s in the rules.)

I find it interesting that clothing for overweight MEN is not called plus-sized, incidentally. It's called “Big and Tall.” Which sounds much nicer, doesn’t it?

Although I guess they’re both a step up from that horrible term from when I was a kid: “husky.” I shudder at that one. It sounds like a giant black bear.

But in any case, I opened the catalog, to see if the title referred to the oversized quality of the home itself or the people in it.

Apparently it was the latter.

On page one there was an office chair marked cheerfully: “XL Computer Chair! 25 in. wide seat! 500 lb. capacity!”

Well, mystery solved. The catalog sold FURNITURE for fat chicks.

I couldn’t believe this was a whole genre, to be honest, so I kept looking.

I found oversized bedding, an “extra-sturdy” airbed, and a giant Snuggie.

Are Snuggies not over yet? Really?

I thought the invention of the Pet Snuggie would have kiled them for sure...

And why are all these models in the fat-people furniture catalog NOT FAT?

(This is a pet peeve of mine for the plus-sized clothing catalogs too. Would it KILL you people to put that dress on a fat chick for me? How does it help me want to buy it if you’ve got it draped over Kate Moss there?)

That’s when the catalog turned weirder, and a little scarier. The Big John Toilet Seat. (1200 lb capacity. I am NOT making that up!)

I kept turning the pages, fascinated and horrified. And then we move into the giant canes, walkers, wheelchairs that I guess are going to be inevitable as we fat people age.

It was like a “Scared Straight” program for the overweight!

Watch out kids, or YOU’LL be sitting in this 400 lb capacity wheelchair before long! Pretty scary.

Although truthfully, I DON’T think all fat people are destined for disability and an early grave, despite what the news media would apparently like us to believe.

I mean, seriously. This just ties in to the fact that all you are hearing about these days is the “obesity epidemic.” It seems like lately fat people have turned into the new EVIL of the world.

We’ve already demonized the smokers, condemning them to a tiny corner of the parking lot far from the office door, huddled in the rain trying to light their Marlboros. Now it’s perfectly acceptable to sneer at them, or cough pointedly as we pass to give them some message about the evils of their secondhand smoke. And no, I don’t think that smoking is a good idea. DUH! I just think we don’t have to be so MEAN about it!

Contrary to popular opinion, smoking cigarettes is NOT, in fact, illegal.

Criminal Smoker cartoon courtesy of clagnuts.blogspot.com

And now that the smokers have been well and truly beaten down, the eye of Big Brother has turned to the overweight. “Hey you! Yes you! Drop that burger! Drop it I say!”

Okay, I admit many of us could stand to lose a few, myself definitely included. But could we possibly acknowledge that people do come in all shapes and sizes, and some of us are perfectly healthy without being rail-thin? (And some thin folks are less than healthy as well.)

And I’d like to point out: Everyone acknowledges that alcoholism is a disease. Drug addiction is often categorized as a disease as well. But overeating (and smoking I might add!) is seen as a character flaw. Just a lack of willpower.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is, Hey! Could we just lay off with vilifying the obese? Everybody struggles with something. Some us just wear it on the outside.

And also that I thought this "Plus-Sized Living" catalog was REALLY funny. I mean, the "Big John?" Come ON! That's some funny stuff there. I don't care who you are.

I will say that I personally am working on exercising more and eating less. It’s difficult.

I won’t go into the details of all that, because, let's face it, is ANYTHING more boring than someone else’s diet and exercise program? I mean, who would have read “The FOOD Diary of Anne Frank?” (Friday: Lentil soup, again. What a snoozer!)

But I’m working on it.

By the way, I threw the catalog away.

I don’t plan on needing that XL walker anytime soon. And I can still sit in regular chairs, thank you very much!